Give it up to our guest poster, Morah Michelle Cades!
The days between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve can bring out the best in people… and the worst in people. Here are some tips for different situations that you may encounter during this month!
If you are feeling stressed, imagine what it’s like for your kids. No, really, they do get stressed, too, only over different things and for different reasons.
1 – Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit. When adults are worrying about gift lists and family gatherings and travel plans and work parties and more, it’s easy to think that the kids feel no impact because they are not responsible for these tasks. But, kids absolutely pick up on the stress “vibes” that adults give off, our tone of voice and rate of speech (both go up), our body language (tense muscles), our decreased patience level, our frenzied behaviors (the frantic cleaning before guests arrive), and the differences between partners in coordinating and planning the execution of these tasks. Yikes! And, I didn’t even touch the excitement level of peers at school!
2 – The Christmas decorations went up outside my neighborhood shopping center before Halloween this year. Seriously. Going out of the house is sensory overload! Lights on houses and shop displays. Music in stores and on the radio (for those of us who still listen to regular old FM radio). Decorations covering every bare space. Solicitations for donations. Crowded stores. Shiny, pretty advertisements in the mail, online, on TV (you do remember the days of watching “live TV”). It is everywhere – the grocery store, the gas station, schools (“holiday” decorations), doctors’ offices, coffee shops. Not that these are bad things, but all together, they can be highly overwhelming.
3 – Tact and manners when receiving gifts are actually difficult skills to master. Gracefully receiving a gift, face to face with the gift-giver in particular, is actually a difficult and learned skill. We teach our children to say “thank you.” But think about how you feel when you receive a dud gift (that ‘ugh’ in your gut); yet you still put on a warm smile, an enthusiastic comment, and gracious thank you’s. Not so easy for kids.
Before gathering with relatives, consider role playing gift-receiving and things to say when the gift is not exactly what you’d hoped for. A strategy I suggest is to teach kids that when this happens they can comment on the gift itself, rather than on how they feel about the gift. For example, “Thanks for the sweater and socks, Bubbe! They will really keep my feet warm this winter!”
Family get-togethers: Fun, but a little stressful for everyone. Photo from Flickr user my_boys_mom, used under Creative Commons License.
4 – Visits to relatives and friends can be exhausting (and exasperating). Before visits to friends or relatives, review with your kids what they can expect – who will be there, how long you’ll be there, what will happen, etc. Many adults struggle with making small talk. Imagine how much more difficult this skill is for kids. Identify a few topics of high interest to the kids that they will be comfortable talking about with other adults and kids. If the kids are picky eaters, pre-feed them to avoid food-related meltdowns. Volunteer to bring along a food that you know your child will eat. Allow your child to bring along a small game or book for when they need a retreat from the hubbub.
If travelling overnight, sleep can often be an issue. Be sure to have kids bring along their security item / “lovie” or, if possible, their own pillow. Never underestimate the comforting power of a familiar smell! Try, as best you can given the circumstances, to maintain a consistent bedtime routine and sleeping hours. And, bring along a nightlight. We all can use a little light for middle of the night bathroom trips in unfamiliar settings!
Photo by Flickr user CrazyUncleJoe, used under Creative Commons License.
Hopefully these tips will lead to a more relaxing and enjoyable month ahead for your whole family! Good luck and enjoy!
